The Myth of “Don’t Talk About It”
Maybe it’s just my algorithm and the kind of content I tend to consume, but I’ve seen a few posts on Facebook lately declaring, “Don’t talk about it until it’s done.”
That idea stands out to me—mostly because I’ve tried every approach when it comes to starting something new. I’ve shouted declarations from the rooftops. I’ve told just a few close friends. And I’ve told no one. For me, it doesn’t matter which route I take, the action items are always the same:
Put your head down. Do the work.
What Accountability Really Means
For me, accountability is doing what you say you’re going to do—whether you say it out loud or just to yourself. It’s showing up. It’s getting the work in. It’s being there until the finish, until the job gets done.
I’ve gone through several phases of what accountability looks like in my life. I’ve always been wired to be reliable—for bosses, coworkers, coaches, teammates. If I said I’d do something, it was locked in. There was no turning back. Because the worst possible outcome in my mind was that someone might be disappointed in me.
Breaking Promises to Myself
And that led to an awful habit I could have developed: I prioritized not letting others down… while repeatedly breaking promises to myself.
Maybe I didn’t think I was breaking them. Maybe I told myself I was just postponing them. It’s hard to tell—especially when that behavior goes back three decades.
Then came the second worst realization: I could break promises to the people closest to me—my immediate family. I grew up with an unbroken, deeply loving family. My parents were together, supportive, and always there for my sister and me. Every game. Every milestone. It was the definition of unconditional love. And I mistakenly learned that unconditional love meant I could let them down and still be loved.
I had it backwards.
The third worst realization was this: the pain of disappointing others became so great that I simply stopped making promises altogether—unless I knew I could fulfill them with little to no effort. And if there’s a better way to kill momentum and guarantee stagnation, I haven’t found it.
The Easy Road to Nowhere
Here’s the kicker: I knew these behaviors were wrong. And I did them anyway. For years.
That’s the easy road. You can’t break a promise you never make. And if you only say you’re going to do the easy stuff, you’ll bat 1.000. Great stats, sure. But it’s also a great way to coast through life.
Eventually, there’s only one move left to make:
Snap the hell out of it.
The Wake-Up Call (Without the Speech)
I didn’t have a big, cinematic moment. And believe me, I wanted one. I was looking for it.
I pictured something like that scene in the original Top Gun, where Maverick checks out during the final dogfight. He’s frozen, stuck in his own head, whispering, “Talk to me, Goose.” And Merlin, in the backseat, is yelling, “Maverick! MAVERICK! MAVERICK!” Then suddenly, he snaps out of it—and starts kicking ass.
God, I wanted that kind of moment.
But mine didn’t come with a speech. Or a battle. Or a plane.
The Coaching Business That Never Left My List
To give this story some context, let’s talk about the coaching business – 130 Coaching.
I’ve been trying to launch this thing for a long time. Back in 2017, I made a half-hearted attempt with something called IDAKT Consulting. (I Drink And Know Things. It was a fun Game of Thrones reference at the time.)
After COVID gave me more free time than I’d had since summer break as a kid, I rebranded to The Texas Small Business Coach. That was the first time the word “coach” entered the picture—but it still leaned more into consulting.
Eventually, I settled on Chris Chelli Coaching. And here’s the thing: I’ve always known that this work—helping people, guiding them, coaching them—is what I’m meant to do. Everything I’ve experienced, everything I’ve studied, every book I’ve read—it’s all led to this.
But when my health issues flared up, the business took a back seat. I needed income, and coaching didn’t feel viable. When things stabilized, I’d come back to it again. It was always there, on the back burner. I toyed with new names: Get Unstuck Coaching, Take It Back Coaching, 130 Coaching and Consulting.
But I still wasn’t making a plan. I kept saying what needed to happen—build a website, post content, show credibility—without actually doing it.
The difference finally came when I stopped and carved out the time to make a real plan.
The Accountability Framework: Decide, Plan, Execute, Adjust
If we break it down, accountability looks like this:
- Decide what you’re going to do. Say it out loud or don’t—it’s up to you.
- Make a plan. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said, “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” He was right.
- Execute. Show up. Do the work.
- Adjust. Tinker. Figure out what’s working. Improve where you can.
That’s the roadmap. But you have to follow it. And you have to follow it for the right things.
When Accountability Backfires
There are two traps I’ve learned to watch out for.
First: Overcommitting.
“Biting off more than you can chew” isn’t just a cliché—it’s a full-blown sabotage strategy. When you’re self-employed, it’s tempting to say yes to everything. To help everyone. To please everyone. But when you’re juggling too much, something always drops.
I’ve heard it said: “When everything is important, nothing is.” You can’t have five “main” projects. That’s just five ways to crash and burn.
If you want to stay accountable, you have to know your limits.
Second: Being accountable to everyone but yourself.
If you’ve got your own dreams and goals, but spend all your energy on someone else’s, you’re digging yourself a hole. You’ll tell yourself you’re “gaining experience” or “helping the team” — and maybe you are.
But I did that for decades. I’ve been accountable to everyone but myself. And I still struggle with that line every day.
Sometimes, it feels easier to keep others happy. But the cost of that is massive. You can lose years to it.
Show Up. Follow Through. Repeat.
Being accountable doesn’t guarantee results. It just means you made a promise and followed through.
And whether or not the result is what you hoped for, the act of showing up proves something—to the people around you, and to yourself:
You can follow through.
And while results aren’t guaranteed, nothing meaningful happens without showing up. Without being accountable.
Final Thought: Snapping Out of It
I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out.
I’m saying I finally snapped the hell out of it.
Not with a motivational speech. Not with a 30-day challenge. Just one quiet decision:
To keep my word to myself.
To make a plan.
To do the work.
And then do more.
That’s momentum.
And that’s what I’m building now.
Ready to Get Accountable?
I wanted to let you know I’ve started an Accountability section over at 130Coaching.com.
Every Monday, I’ll post three things I’m working on for the week.
Every Friday by 5pm (Houston time), I’ll share a quick progress report—
even if I didn’t touch them. No fluff. No BS. Just me being accountable.
And I’ve built a couple of tools you can use too:
✅ The 130 Accountability Form
If you want to test the waters, you can share what you’re working on and how it’s going—no pressure, just honest progress. You can find it HERE. If you give me permission, I may share your story in a future video or blog.
📱 The 130 Accountability Texts
This is a paid subscription ($25/month), and here’s how it works:
You tell me what you want to be held accountable for.
Then every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning, I’ll send a nudge via text.
Real messages. From a real person. Not AI. Not automated.
If you reply right away, you’ll likely hear back from me quickly.
If you respond later, I’ll get to it when I can.
And if you never reply? That’s fine too. You’re still getting the check-ins.
Find out more HERE.
The bottom line: Accountability is a choice.
You can go it alone—or lean on others for support.
But once you learn to be accountable to yourself, the possibilities truly are endless.
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